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This copy is for your personal non-commercial use only. I find dating to be humiliating and exhausting: Each time I get rejected because of it, it makes me less likely to try again. How can I feel less discouraged about trying to date with herpes? And how do I tell someone I want to be intimate with? How did we become so insensitive about sexually transmitted infections?
Like, stop it with the herpes jokes, guys. Well, for one thing, sex education fails to communicate how common chronic STIs are, and how to be compassionate about them. STIs became the boogeyman for so many because we fear what we do not understand. As many as one in seven Canadians has herpes. As well, the overall rate of STI infections is on the rise. Possible explanations include easier access to casual sex partners via dating apps; condom use going down because of the false perception that all STIs are easily curable; and a lack of accessibility for testing and treatment.
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Want to discuss? Please read our Commenting Policy first. The online dating world for most is overwhelming when it comes to options, but if you have a sexually transmitted infection or disease, the pool can seem a lot smaller. Most people are introduced to these infections and diseases as a consequence of having unprotected sex or having multiple partners, Pierce says, and this further adds to the stigma.
On top of this, some people just have infections and not diseases. Pierce says for starters, anyone with the disease or infection should know exactly what they have. This is a good first step to find people who have gone through the same experience, she says. In turn, someone with an STI could meet someone without an infection, but who is open to the idea of being with someone who does.
In this situation, education is key, she says, and you have to be direct and confident to bring up the conversation as it comes. This, of course, is something only people with that STI would know.